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Celt-loft: the perfect cure

March 11, 2010
Celt-loft: see your physician.

Celt-loft: see your physician.

… Celtics got you down?

Celt-loft is well tolerated and effective for the treatment of Celtics-related depression and certain anxiety conditions, usually caused by a team’s inconsistent play.

Celt-loft comes in all shapes and sizes.

Celt-loft comes in all shapes and sizes.

Celt-loft is FDA approved to treat CDCRD (Clinically Diagnosed Celtics-Related Depression), certain types of sport anxiety conditions caused by erradic execution of basic offensive and defensive sets, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) originating from paying hard-earned money to see the Celtics play in person, panic disorder stemming from the misconception of a genuine title contender, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) causing you to wash your hands from the filthy and sloppy team defense, and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) in adults over age 18 that like watching a team care about winning. It is also approved for OCD in children and adolescents age 6-17 years that can’t stay up to watch an entire game-dismantling on Red’s court.

For 63 games, Celt-loft has safely and effectively treated millions of people with Celtics-related depression and certain anxiety conditions caused by the team’s play. Celt-loft is available in multiple strengths, so your doctor can decide a dose for you.

12 Comments leave one →
  1. March 11, 2010 8:38 pm

    Don’t let me get my hands on this stuff-I’ll f*** around and pull a Corey Haim.

  2. March 12, 2010 1:24 am

    I see nothing in the description about offering protection from Australians??? That seems to be giving you some pretty bad symptoms right now…

    • March 12, 2010 1:31 am

      Ugh… Bogut = Bogus. (c’mon… you set me up for it)

  3. March 12, 2010 1:39 am

    HAHAHAHA!! After the past few games…can I get this in bulk?

  4. Buddy Finkelstein permalink
    March 12, 2010 1:21 pm

    Kwapt , change your name .

    Do you really want to be known for life as a guy who has Kobe and a purple thong in the same sentence ?

    Do it before it’s too late !!

    • March 12, 2010 1:35 pm

      I don’t know man, KWAPT is a pretty priceless moniker…

  5. Buddy Finkelstein permalink
    March 13, 2010 2:31 pm

    Yeah but how do you introduce yourself ?

    Like , Hi I’m KWAPT ?

    The natural response would be , what the hell is a KWAPT and besides why be associated with a man’s thong wore by a Laker .

    I can’t take a man who’s named after Kobe’s underwear seriously.

    • Loscy permalink
      March 16, 2010 12:21 am

      Well it may not fit well with the LAL fans but it sure does with the BOS ones. The only ones that, of course, matter.

  6. Sam permalink
    March 13, 2010 6:24 pm

    2 for 1 sounds good too me, I have a feeling I’ll need a double dose before the Cav’s game tomorrow.


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