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The Sequel to “John Tucker Must Die” is certainly “Brian Scalabrine Must Die”

January 12, 2010

Which way out of town?

Which way out of town?

Okay. Let’s not get out of hand here: Brian Scalabrine shouldn’t die. He is a perfectly nice human being that helps out local companies like ReMax sell houses. But lately, that is the only reason that Scal is making headlines. He is certainly not making headlines because of his stellar play in basketball… which is what we are paying him to do. And by we, I mean, yes, WE. US. CELTICS FANS THAT BUY TICKETS TO GAMES, MERCHANDISE FROM STORES, AND FEES FOR CABLE TO WATCH THE CELTICS PLAY THAT PAY MANAGEMENT AND PLAYER SALARIES.

It’s not a good sign when the only reason you’re making headlines is when you are doing open house tours in a struggling real estate market.

Sorry Boston, but it’s time to trade Brian Scalabrine. The time is now. Start your separation anxiety now.

There will be a “hot-line” to call at the end of the post where you can vent, grieve, get angry, and learn to recover.

I know so many of you love him because he’s our little red-headed mascot, but that is no reason to hold onto a $3 million dollar trading chip. In a unique time in our association’s history, a $3 million dollar expiring contract is as good as an invaluable role player that few teams would be willing to give up. Teams around the horn are clamoring for guys that they can dump come the free agency spree of 2010 come this June.

Pull the trigger, Danny. Pull the trigger right now. Pull the mother effin trigger.

Let’s take a look at what Scal has given us this season:

  • In 28 games, Scal is giving us an average of 10 minutes per game.
  • He is shooting 30% from the field.
  • 23% from behind the arc.
  • Less than a rebound per game.
  • Less than an assist per game.
  • And a whopping 1.1 points per game.

Those are the basic statistics. Let’s take a deeper look with the geek stats through &

  • According to, he’s net points is at -8, which means his +/- rating is a -8 across 48 minutes… yikes.
  • His PER ratings at the SF position is 8.3 and 1.7 at PF position (in case you’re curious, Rondo has a PER of 22.1).
  • In his net 48 minute production by position, in other words what would his PER rating be if he played 48 minutes, his PER is even worse: -6.4 at SF, -19.7 at the PF, and -17.7 as a center.

Take a look at his rankings according to positions:



I know that he is a reserve… but even for a reserve, it’s still a big whoops.

The bigger question really is who to package Scal with. Would it be TA? I’m not sure… Tony is proving to be a pretty important 2-man coming off the bench, or even filling in as a temporary starter. I am willing to hold on to TA for as long as possible just before the trade deadline. So then it leaves… Maybe Glen Davis? Someone give me some thoughts about this. What to do with Davis? Keep him? Keep him? Here is my line of reasoning for trading Davis: If we don’t have KG, then we aren’t going to win the title. Let’s all get our heads out of our rears and realize that if KG is not in the lineup, neither Rasheed nor Davis will fill in KG’s enormous shoes and help lead the Celtics to #18. If that’s the case, why not use Davis as trade bait in order to get someone that could be an integral part to our bench? You know… a PF that is excited to come off the bench for the Celtics and a veteran back-up PG to give Rondo some rest? Unless Danny and management see Davis as an integral part to the franchise’s future, then why not take the gamble, roll the dice, trade Baby + Scal for a back-up PF and a veteran PG, and just hope that KG is healthy for the playoffs. If KG is healthy come April-June, then Shelden and Sheed will out work very well for the Celtics as back-ups, and Glen won’t need to be a part of this scheme.

I’m not completely sold on trading Davis at this point… but if I had to choose between Davis and TA to be packaged with Scal RIGHT NOW, I am choosing Davis.

Whoa. I cannot believe I just chose TA over anything.

As I say all of this, Scal just drained a 3 and made a couple of good defensive stops against Josh Smith. Regardless of whether or not Scal has a big game tonight against Atlanta, I am still saying that Scal needs to go. Maybe after he shows a house for ReMax this weekend he can sell his own house when his Irish-ness gets shipped across the country.

For the grieving Scal fans that need a hotline, please just send a tweet to @loscy and know that your concerns will be answered in 140 characters or less…

8 Comments leave one →
  1. Maj permalink
    January 12, 2010 11:31 am

    Okay, you can dump him. But you have to find another red-headed player somewhere. And this time, could you get a Hibernian sounding name?

  2. Go Green Machine permalink
    January 13, 2010 9:49 pm

    This is one of the main reasons I read the Blogs. Many of the blog writers are choing my own thoughts. Scals is no Larry Bird, no Kevin McHale, no Danny Ainge, but is well over due time for Dannu Ainge to trade this guy. Only problem is….who will be dumb enough to pick him up ?

    • January 14, 2010 12:14 am

      Thanks for reading. I don’t think it’s really a matter of who is dumb enough to take him, but more about who is DESPERATE enough to take him. With so many teams in difficult financial situations, teams are hoping to dump stupid contracts that extend past 2010 in favor of getting an expiring contract in return. The biggest thing: if a team has no chance at winning, they’re looking to dump salaries and take on bad players with expiring contracts. Money is talking louder than Ws right now…

  3. January 16, 2010 2:13 am

    Well, Scal is not the reason we are losing. He was never meant to do anything more than hit the occasional jumper and draw the defenders out of the paint. He looks confused some times, but last night he went strong to the bucket a few times. If we trade him, who’s name will wooden toothed hair piece wearing Hubie mispronounce. It is worth it just for the comedy of the other broadcasters repeatedly pronouncing it correctly and Hubie refusing to budge. I know Scal is frusterating but he is the token white guy and the Celts need that. It is part of their playing personality.

    Funny post though!

    • January 16, 2010 2:23 am

      I agree with everything you said, but I particularly loved the part about him being the broadcaster’s running joke. But, in the end, he’s an expiring contract that’s like gold, JERRY, GOLD! I’d like to see that value maximized sooner than later…


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