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All Star Weekend? All Suck Weekend (and Rondo!)

March 8, 2009

By jontookem

All-Star Weekend? How about No-Fun Weekend.

With about 8 weeks left in the regular season, roughly 24-27 games left for most teams, I take a second to talk about how much I hate the All-Star weekend and talk about a bright spot since the infamous weekend.

As teams get back into the flow of things after the All-Star break, I couldn’t be happier. Have I told you about how much I hate All-Star weekend? I hate All-Star weekend. The same thing happened this year that has happened to me pretty much every year in the past that I’ve been (un)lucky enough to watch: there is so much built up excitement, and then it all becomes such a disappointment, such a let down, such a bore. During my weekend getaway to Vermont during the break, my room at our B&B had a 13″ TV with cable. Before dinner on Saturday, I watched the start of the G-E-I-C-O game, AKA HORSE to the non-corporacized world. This new event that was meant to draw in people to watch the festivities that have witness ratings plummet year after year, featured Kevin Durant, OJ Mayo, and Joe Johnson. After watching Kevin Durant get stuffed by the bottom of the backboard after trying to do the “ball under the leg and back up for a lay-up” move VERY EARLY ON, a staple move of HORSE I may add, I turned off the TV. I was done. That moment for me was like so many moments in baseball when a pitcher fields the ball and over/under/side throws to first. Seriously? You can hit your corners to the inch throwing a ball 93 mph… but you can make a soft toss to the first baseman 25 feet away? Kevin Durant: you’re probably one of the best scorers in the league this year and I am not dissing on you, but you can’t make one of the few classic HORSE game moves of “ball under the leg and back up for lay-up” shot? I am not an accomplished basketball player, and dude, I can hit that shot. Let me rephrase, I’ve hit that shot. I had seen enough. Don’t even get me started on the “Shooting Stars” competition. Ugh. My gosh. That. Was. Terrible. So. Freakin. Bad. Then Daequan Cook wins the 3 point contest? My beef with this? He only needed to beat a score of like 1.5 to beat R. Lewis. I have 7th graders on my basketball team that could have won that competition. Well ok, that isn’t true. But how about that? What if the All-Star game held 3-point shooting contests for high school kids in the host city and then took on these pro hot shots. By the way, what has happened to the 3-point shooting contest? How are these cats being chosen? What happened to the BIG NAMES like Larry Bird stepping up and winning in his freakin warm up shirt?

Like Montell Jordan said, This is how we do it.

Like Montell Jordan said, "This is how we do it."

Please– anyone in control of this, BRING BACK BIG NAMES. And the dunk contest… why all the props? Lebron has given his word that he would like to commit to next year’s dunk contest, but wants to drum up some interest from fellow big names to make it exciting again. No props (Re: Dwight Howard and Nate Robinson), no 9874894348 chances (Re: Rudy Fernandez), and just back to athletic dunks with what you can only perform on your own. I like that. Shoot, give me Lebron, Kobe, Vince Carter, D-Wade, Shaq, and Dee Brown. Yes, Dee Brown.

Is he sneezing? No. Just dunking with his eyes closed and covered.

Is he sleeping? No. Just dunking with his eyes closed and covered.

Get him back! How else can we make the All-Star game better? Have reunion games. 3 v. 3, half court playground style to prevent the oldies from having to run up and down the floor too much. Gimme MJ, Dominique Wilkins, David Robinson v. Bird, Clyde Drexler, Ewing. Then in the second round, gimme John Stockton, Karl Malone, Charles Barkley (sober) v. Isiah Thomas, Scottie Pippen, Reggie Miller. Bam.

Whoa. All of those ideas are equally as terrible as the existing All-Star Weekend. Maybe it’s not so bad afterall…

Ok, in all seriousness, one thing that has been 100% wonderful to see SINCE the All-Star break is the standout play of one Rajon Rondo. It’s good to see the show on the air again.

Barbosa stopping Rondo? Nash stopping Rondo? No no.

Barbosa stopping Rondo? Nash stopping Rondo? No no.

RAJON RONDO!
My boy has been all over the map. Is he the messiah for the Celts? Yes. Have I been salivating over Rondo since the Celts acquired him? Yes. My Rondo haiku:

He’s in your face here,
And even in your face there,
He’s on everywhere.

Rondo’s game log since beig snubbed for Bosh’s injury spot on the East to the far inferior Mo Williams:
15 pts (5-7), 7 asst, 1 TO v. Utah (L)
32 pts (13-18!), 10 asst, 3 stl, 6 rbs v. PHO (W)
14 pts (5-7), 8 asst, 8 rbs, 1 blk, 1 stl v. DEN (W)
In the last 3 games, he is shooting a whopping 72%. Say what? 72%!!! While watching the emotional/physical abuse case Rondo unfolded on Steve Nash on Sunday’s nationally televised game on ABC v. Phoenix, Hubie kept talking about the fact that most of his shots are lay-ups. Yes, Hubie, good… He takes high percentage shots and makes them. That is like saying to a batter that has a high on-base-percentage (OBP), “Well you only swing at pitches you can hit.” NO SH*T, HUBIE! That’s what he does! He gets to the hoop to make acrobatic lay-ups and can finish. The fact that he can consistently get to the hoop and hit his shots is the kind of player he is. Hubie was talking down to him saying he wasn’t shooting Js! Actually, he took 3 outside shots and went 2-3, one of those being a 3-pointer. Suck it, Hubie.

Even Shaq-Diesel couldnt use his Jabbawockeez-style defense to stop Rondo.

Even Shaq-Diesel couldn't use his Jabbawockeez-style defense to stop Rondo.

Anyway, keep it up Rondo. Keep it up. With KG out and most of the Celtic corner being frigthened to near death, there shouldn’t be any worries… remember alongside one of the best point guards in the game are two guys that can easily put up 25+ points a game like they have their entire careers: Big Baby Davis and Eddie House. Just kidding. Pierce and Ray-Ray will carry the scoring load just fine with a PG like Rondo creating for them. Keep it up Rondo– and I might just update you from just owning a Rondo t-shirt jesey to owning the a real Rondo jersey (in case you were wondering, only 2 players hold the jersey status: Michael Jordan from 1995 (still fits) and Paul Pierce from 2008, John Stockton is on deck).

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